Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I had a wonderful Christmas, although I am glad it is over! We are beginning a New Year and I wish the best for everyone. I am looking forward to the new beginnings of a new year. Some of the things I want to do are:
Enjoy life more, stop complaining!
Pay attention to the little pleasure of life. It doesn't take much to make me smile.
Spend more time with people. Living alone is NOT good! Believe me!
Cherish my family more. . . . I am blessed to have them so close to me and they love me. Even with all my imperfections.
Sing out loud, it makes me feel good. Especially at Church.
Just live my life, the way it is. It is good, it is mine.

I came across this little bit of wisdom and I am passing it on to you
May the sun bring you new Energy by day
May the moon softly restore you by night
May the rain wash away your worries
May the breeze blow new Strength into your being
May you walk through the world and know it's beauty all the day of your life.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Thought I would post my Christmas Newsletter. I haven't done this for a long time, but I decided some of us really do like newsletters. I do! So here goes with the quick version of the family newsletter. I send Christmas Greetings and Good News from me to you. I am happy to say that w are all healthy, happy and doing well. I am especially happy here in Tooele living close to my children and their families. I am very blessed to have all four of my children living close to me. My favorite place to be is with them, whether it is at their homes, at the ball fild, in the high school stadium or at the gym, I want to be where they are. With nine grandchildren I spend a lot of time at a variety of activities. They are all involved in something that is good. I marvel at how bright they are, how talented, and how close to me they are. They truly are my crowning jewels, my bright stars and my greatest accomplishments. My life is lived through and for them.

Mathew and Melanie are very involved with their family and church and community. The three children, Baylee, Emma, and Jared keep things moving at a fast pace. Mathew is the Vice-Principal at Tooele High so you can only imagine how busy he is. Melanie still works at the local hospital here in Tooele. Baylee is a beautiful bright young woman, a freshman at Tooele High and on the girls volly ball team. Emma is my blonde blue eyed granddaughter. Seh is a sweet loving little girl, she is in the third grade and is of course very bright. Her softball team this summer won the championship. Her Daddy was the coach. She is definately a Daddy's girl. Jared, is an active (understatement) little guy. He makes me laugh, and sometimes his parents can't understand why I get such a kick out of him. He is a bright first grader.

Emily and Russell are also very involved with family and church. Russ works at the "burn" plant, where the government is getting rid of all the toxic bombs! He just completed remodeling their home. He literally did it himself. It is beautiful. Emily works at Tooele High. (Her older brother Mat just can't seem to get rid of her). Emily and Russ have my two star athlete's Joel and Andrew. My Joel is an impressive football player and follows in the Jackson tradition of being a great player. He also is the high school varsity wrestler. He is a great young man both on the playing field and off. He upholds what every young man should, discipline, goodness and integrity. He is a Junioor at Tooele High School and loves having his Mom and his Uncle Mat there. Andrew is also following the Jackson tradition as a football player and a basketball player. He is very social whereas Joel is very shy. But they are brothers in every way. They cheer for each other and watch out for each other. And they are tender and concerned for me their Grandmother.

Blake and Gina are active and busy with their interests and jobs also. Gina works at a local doctor's office and is an EMT on the Tooele ambulance. Blake works at the golf course and goes to school at Utah State University. Brissa is also growing up. She is in the second grade and does very well. She is my dancer. The most tender scene is watching Blake and Brissa dance together at Brissa's annual dance revue. Brissa is very much a girly girl, but she also loves being with her Daddy working the dogs. Blake raises hound dogs and trains them. Brissa is just like "little Ann" in the book "Where The Red Fern Grows". She can handle the dogs, the horses and the mule. Blake and Mark hunt and pursue mountain lion's (courgars), in the mountains of Tooele County and surrounding areas. They are quite the hunters and have taken some impressive pictures of thie mountain beasts.

Mark and Shelly are equally as busy with their jobs, interes and going to school. Both Mark and Shelly take classes at Utah State University. I love that they are continuing their education. Shelly works, goes to school and still finds time to nourish her creative side. Mark is a devoted father to his three little girls. They have three of my granddaughters, Sara, Zada and Maya. Sara loves to do crafts at my house, she is in the third grade and is a caring tender older sister. Zada is also close to me, she is at the Early Learning Center and has improved so much with her speech. She is a little drama queen. Very expressive! Her and Maya love to come see Grandma at work each day. Maya is the little sister and is a beautiful sweet little girls (just like the others). She turns three in January one day before her Grandma's birthday.

As always there is never a dull moment in the Jackson family. Something is always going on, which is ok with me as long as I am invited! My life is centered around my children and thier children. I can see the blessings of the Lord in every area of my life and theirs.

At times I feel the emptiness that is in my heart, but I must remember the promises that have been given to me, by a loving Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I believe that Jesus Christ was born in Bethlehem more than 200 years ago. I believe more than ever that He is the Son of God, the Redeemer of the world. I believe!

Friday, December 19, 2008

End of the year ramblings

I become very nostalgic at this time of year, as I am sure most people do. Sometimes the memories are comforting and sometimes they are hard for me to deal with. But always tender and soulful. I pause at this time of year and count my many blessings. Something I should do constantly, but I am one of those people who can stumble right over a blessing and not see it. I visited with an old friend last night, I ask him how he was doing and he said "not so good, I am in the last stages of my life". Ed is a dear friend of mine and Lloyd's, we were once "couple" friends, his wife Vivian was my best friend and Lloyd and Ed were best friends. Ed and Lloyd became friends at the time they were both becoming active in the Church. They had many things in common, both has sowed their wild oats, and later faced some difficult challenges. We had many happy times together. We laughed and we cried, and developed in the gospel together. Tragically Ed and Vivian faced the lose of their first child, and when their little girl was three years old one Christmas Eve they lost her. Ed wasn't through with loses, Vivian died tragically in an auto accident on my birthday January 17th. Ed was left with four children to raise. His youngest were two year old twins. Lloyd and I were with Ed through this loses and they were difficult times. Eventually he found a good woman to help his raise his children and help to heal his broken heart. Now Ed faces his own mortality . . . . Ed ask me why I didn't come to see him, and my answer was. . . because it hurts! We hugged and kissed and said good-bye.
Yesterday was the 53rd anniversary of my mother and father's accident. My mother has been gone for a life-time. . . what kept coming to my mind was my little four year old brother coming to me and asking me where our Mom was. We were young children and didn't understand the meaning of death. Neither one of us knew where "Heaven" was. We were told that was where she was, and that was it. Nothing more nothing less, just Heaven. I have traveled a long path of life, and at times I still wonder where Heaven is! The destination for all of us is "Heaven". I am not really sure where it is. . . . . The Babe born in Bethlehem over 2000 years ago brought answers to all the questions. He is the Son of God, and carries healing in his wings. He, Jesus Christ, is the mighty God of both Heaven and Earth. If I follow Him I will know where Heaven is.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Today December 9, 2008 is my 42nd wedding anniversary to my dear Lloyd. Unfortunately I haven't had the blessing of having him for 42 years. I was allowed 25 years with him. I feel cheated out of something that was the dream of my life, the hope of all my tomorrows and the love of my life. I'll never have him hold me in his arms and tell me things will be ok. He and I will never enjoy together the activities of our children, or our grandchildren. He has not been with me as each of my children have married, never shed tears with me as our children transitioned from childhood to adulthood. Never held a grandchildren and felt the tender little kisses they share. Never cheered on the sidelines for an adoring grandson, nor had the rush of pride with each child's accomplishments. Never saw his oldest child receive his Master's Degree from college and make full circle with becoming a vice-principal at Tooele High. Never enjoyed hunting trips with his sons, nor football games, basketball games and wrestling matches. Never watched as his little granddaughter wins the championship in softball nor see his ballerina perform on stage.
Simply said Lloyd and I are traveling separate roads. His road is in a realm that I have no conception of. I don't know his world. Where as he does know mine. I don't know where he is and he knows where I am all the time. I cry alone and feel the emptiness of life without him, but he feels my pain and knows my emptiness. I feel cheated, and he knows the Great Plan. I feel it is a lifetime of losses and he knows it is only for a short moment. I am told the Lord will make up for all of our heartache and our losses. I don't know how that works, but I must believe it is so. I am told there is a principle of compensation, I don't know how that works but I must believe it is so. I have to believe or there is no hope for the coming tomorrows. I must say he gave me four beautiful miracles and in turn they gave me nine angelic energetic miracles. Thanks you Lloyd Jackson, somehow I will make it so that someday I can be with you eternally.. . . . .
We will meet again someday.

Monday, December 1, 2008


By my standard of time Thanksgiving kicks off the holidays. From Thanksgiving to New Years is the "rush" time of year. We begin by filling our tummies, and spend the next weeks emptying our bank accounts and more, and end by resolving to change our life and be a better person. . . I began my holiday season by stepping out of the box and out of my comfort zone. Thanksgiving was spent feeding the homeless and less advantaged. A few days before I had something happen that made me have a good inward look at myself. A look at my sole and spirit. I decided I had spent too much time crying over what I had lacking in my life, and determined I would be more helpful and grateful. I determined I would show gratitude and thank the Lord for my "wants" for they are unique to me. In fact, I have a great life and I will be more thankful for it. Somethings I have never experienced and I hope I never do. My eyes were opened to human suffering in a much larger scale than I had thought. At the end of the day I fell to my knees and ask the Lord to forgive me for all the whining I do. I have more than most. I left the group of people on Thanksgiving day with my heart filled, and a smile on my face.
The holidays are hard for me. . . . I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. This year will be no different. But, I am trying to fill my days with positive energy. My friends and the people I cherish know how I am and respect and love me all the same. Depression during this time of year is a curse. . . . something I must work at constantly. I feel like I am running for my life to get away from it, when I should embrace it. I am still learning.
I promise I will have more and new photos posted soon. But I just can't let the football pictures of Joel go away. This season was fun and I like to remember. He is such a fun young man to have around. He is good. I am not just saying this as his Grandmother. He truly is good. I find great joy in this grandson. My others are a joy also. . . .I know the best is yet to come.
I will close this one for now. . . thanks for visiting. Come again.


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